I've been home since Saturday night and am still trying to adjust into a routine at my mom's. I spent most of the day in bed on Saturday and had a couple of family visitors. Suzanne came from downtown Sacramento the spend Sunday with me. We spent the better part of the day watching the Raider and Cowboys games. Suz is a from Texas so you can't give her crap for being a Cowboys fan! I love football and have not had a chance to sit down and watch a couple of games in years! There's another upside to my current predicament! Sarah stopped by before work and I also got to visit with several family members on Sunday afternoon, including my Grandpa Berner. I've really enjoyed being able to see so many family and friends.
I am the definition of an extrovert. Building a large network of friends and family around me is at the top pf my priority list right now. I don't do well when I'm isolated. I'm actually thankful for this disease in a way. A- I know I'm going to beat it and B- it gave me a wake-up call. I had been defining my life by my work. I didn't work on building or maintaining a work/life balance. Since my diagnosis, I've re-connected with more friends and family than I haven't spoken to in years. I want to keep the momentum going for as long as I can. If you can't come out of cancer being a better person, then you are not fighting hard enough.
Before I received my diagnosis, I had planned on moving across the country. While it is still something I want to do, I know that there is so much here for me to explore before I do. I think I lost the depth of my personal relationships. I spent so much time at work (self inflicted) that I couldn't have any depth in my personal relationships. Even with family. I'm so thankful for the family and friends that I have. I'm looking foward to spending these next few months rebuilding and growing the relationships I have. I don't know if this is making sense to anyone but myself, I am just so overwhelmed with the love and support from everyone.
Off my soap box! Time to talk about something a little more uncomfortable... I've already talked about Fairy Dust and how I succeeded in that challenge. Now it's on to a BM. If you don't know what that is, google it. Pain medications make you EXTREMELY backed up. Kaiser releases you from the hospital if you can pee and pass gas on your own. They don't require you to have a BM before you leave. You're left to enjoy that discomfort at home. The gas pains may have been bad, but this took the cake. My friends always have the best comments for me. Xenia let me know I should be ready to give birth to a baby through my butt. Pleasant sounding uh? I've got all the prune juice, prunes, raisins, milk of magnesia, stool softener, etc. that one person can handle. You get backed up from the surgery and the pain killers in the hospital and it continues with the pain meds at home. My back and abdomin are extremely swollen and bloated. Six days since being admitted to the hospital, I finally had a BM this morning. For as painful as it was, I wouldn't dare give up my pain pills. The incision site is far to sensitive to go without the pain pills. Just another milestone down, now it's on to the next. I hope I'm nearing the end of the awkward bodily function milestones! That's enough crap talk for one day.
In between visitors today, I received a scary phone call. My dog Dodger got in a dog fight with another dog today. My friend Nick took her to the vet (since of course I can't drive). The initial word on her wounds was that she may need some stitches. Once I spoke to the Veterinarian, she scared me with more "severe" sounding wounds and a potential vet bill of $2000. I could not get Dodger into her regular vet until tomorrow, so I had this vet bandage her up & give her some sedatives. Nick & my step mom Pat took her over to my dads to rest for the night. ( I don't have her here since I don't have a back yard). I am so thankful for Nick taking her in and calming me down. He gave me a more realistic picture of her wounds and also cleaned her up before the vet. She was in good hands from the begginning. Dodger has a chunk of her ear missing, and cuts on her front right and back right leg as well as on her snout. She knows and generally gets along with the other dog she fought with, but this time it went a little far. There's no one to blame, I'm just glad all parties are safe now. After Dodger gets back to 100% ( which will not take long), she'll be staying with my step sister's family. Yet another group of people that I am thankful for during this unexpected time in my life. So while I cried and freaked out earlier today, I believe she will be good as new in no time. She'll just have a bit more character to her, with that mini piece of her ear missing.
Overall, I'm adjusting well. I'm walking around the house easily and have found a comfortable way to sleep on my back at night. I've had a few moments where I let my emotions get the best of me, but my friends and family always cheer me up quickly.
That's all for tonight. I've introduced my mom to Tosh.O and I'm not sure what's funnier- the show or her reaction!
XOXO Britni
No comments:
Post a Comment