I'm in the chemo chair for week 2 of treatment. My nurse is dressed up as Cruella Deville! She looks hilarious! My first chemo experience made me nervous for treatment today. The needle hurt going in ( how could it not?) and the fluids burned as they flushed thru. I have quite the bruise from last weeks poke. This time the whole experience is better. I'm only on the magnesium bag though. I still have an anti- nausea bag and the actual chemo left to drip in. My mom and I are entertaining ourselves by taking "photo booth" pictures on our iPads. There's nothing funnier than making yourself look like an idiot.
The side effects of treatment haven't been that bad. A little nausea, mostly fatigue. The doctor's are careful to remind me that the side effects are cumulative and will reach their height at 3-4 weeks. The only other uncomfortable side effect is the abdominal pain. I think that's still from the surgery. Some days my abs feel sore, some days they have sharp stabbing pains. Each day is different.
I've been staying busy visiting with friends, napping and the occasional Law and Order marathon. My mom's birthday is this Friday and I'm taking her to see Jim Brickman. My brother flys in at 3 on Friday and my friends Xenia & Justin fly in that night too. Xenia & Justin are taking me to Napa on Saturday night. The Doctors given the "ok" on a little wine tasting. It's going to be an exciting weekend. Now I just have to get thru week 2!
I hope everyone is enjoying a happy and healthy Halloween!
XOXO Britni
Monday, October 31, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
Day 1 is Done!
Day 1 went well! Chemo took a bit longer than expected, but I made it to Radiation on time. The toughest part of chemo was the IV. The needle is pretty long, but thin. They put it into a vein below my elbow. The cold fluids rushing in made my arm hurt. They put a warm compress and warm towel over the IV to relieve the discomfort. At radiation, I had several x-rays and then the 5 minute treatment. I didn't sleep much last night and am more tired from the treatments. Glad my bed is ridiculously comfortable, I'm gonna be spending quite a bit of time in it!!
XOXO Britni
XOXO Britni
Tick, Tock....
How quickly the time passes. I begin my chemotherapy and radiation tomorrow! One day shy of 6 weeks post-op. Even after a major surgery, post-op infection, countless doctors appointments and pills it still doesn't feel real. I'm anxious for everything to begin. My chemo treatments are every Monday morning. The radiation treatment times will be set-up at my first appointment. The radiation takes about 15 minutes, while the chemo takes 3 hours to complete. The type of chemo I'll be receiving is called Cisplatinum, which is derived from the metal platinum. Compared to other chemo regimens, it is a lower dose. Lucky for me, I shouldn't loose my hair (hot-damn!).
The major side effects of both the radiation and chemo are nausea and fatigue. There are plenty of other possible side effects, but I'm not going to focus on possibilities. Every persons experience is unique, so who knows which rotten eggs will be thrown my way. I'm going to take it day by day- no expectations. If you know me well enough, you know this is not how I typically operate. I'm very nervous to get the first treatments over with.
My mom has made sure I have all the remedies or relief aid I'll need. We have a medicine or something to help all the side effects that we can relieve on our own. Plus each week I'll check in with both my doctors to report side effects. There's a drug or cream or remedy for just about everything. My mom is also working from home now, so Nurse Nancy will be available to tend to her sick kid 24/7! And yes, I know how lucky I am!! I'm grateful to have such a supportive family and friends!
In preparation for treatment I've been busy being a normal 26 year old in early retirement. My social calendar has been pretty active. Lunches, dinners, walks, trips to Bishop's pumpkin farm & Apple Hill, decorating for Halloween, carving pumpkins and a little retail therapy.
In between it all has been lots of laughs. When my mom had to work, my friend Diana took me to meet my chemo doctor. I had already been to the radiologists that morning for my first post-op exam and CT scan. They use a CT scan to design the radiation field. After the scan, the technician gave me 3 blue dot tattoos. One 2 inches above my belly button, and one on each hip. The tattoos are used to align my body and the radiation beams in the same spot every time. The freckle next to the one on my stomach is bigger than the tattoo. At one point in my chemo consult, the doctor excused himself to go get his hammer. I looked at Diana and said "Are you kidding me? Don't tell my mom what I've been doing today! First I got probed, then 3 tattoos and now I'm getting hammered?!"
I couldn't help but laugh when the doctor came back with his reflex hammer.
Yesterday my mom asked me why I haven't written on my blog. She asked if I was over it. My honest answer: I'm over cancer. I knew this was the last couple of weeks before chemo/rad that I would be feeling "normal" enough to act like I don't have cancer. Once treatment begins, you can't ignore the side effects or the visits to the doctor's offices. That time is drawing closer by the minute!
I was taken out for a delicious "last supper" tonight- hot wings, pizza, a glass of Pinot Noir and a cookie sundae at Chicago Fire. Now it's time for a good nights sleep!
XOXO, Britni
The major side effects of both the radiation and chemo are nausea and fatigue. There are plenty of other possible side effects, but I'm not going to focus on possibilities. Every persons experience is unique, so who knows which rotten eggs will be thrown my way. I'm going to take it day by day- no expectations. If you know me well enough, you know this is not how I typically operate. I'm very nervous to get the first treatments over with.
My mom has made sure I have all the remedies or relief aid I'll need. We have a medicine or something to help all the side effects that we can relieve on our own. Plus each week I'll check in with both my doctors to report side effects. There's a drug or cream or remedy for just about everything. My mom is also working from home now, so Nurse Nancy will be available to tend to her sick kid 24/7! And yes, I know how lucky I am!! I'm grateful to have such a supportive family and friends!
In preparation for treatment I've been busy being a normal 26 year old in early retirement. My social calendar has been pretty active. Lunches, dinners, walks, trips to Bishop's pumpkin farm & Apple Hill, decorating for Halloween, carving pumpkins and a little retail therapy.
In between it all has been lots of laughs. When my mom had to work, my friend Diana took me to meet my chemo doctor. I had already been to the radiologists that morning for my first post-op exam and CT scan. They use a CT scan to design the radiation field. After the scan, the technician gave me 3 blue dot tattoos. One 2 inches above my belly button, and one on each hip. The tattoos are used to align my body and the radiation beams in the same spot every time. The freckle next to the one on my stomach is bigger than the tattoo. At one point in my chemo consult, the doctor excused himself to go get his hammer. I looked at Diana and said "Are you kidding me? Don't tell my mom what I've been doing today! First I got probed, then 3 tattoos and now I'm getting hammered?!"
I couldn't help but laugh when the doctor came back with his reflex hammer.
Yesterday my mom asked me why I haven't written on my blog. She asked if I was over it. My honest answer: I'm over cancer. I knew this was the last couple of weeks before chemo/rad that I would be feeling "normal" enough to act like I don't have cancer. Once treatment begins, you can't ignore the side effects or the visits to the doctor's offices. That time is drawing closer by the minute!
I was taken out for a delicious "last supper" tonight- hot wings, pizza, a glass of Pinot Noir and a cookie sundae at Chicago Fire. Now it's time for a good nights sleep!
XOXO, Britni
Monday, October 10, 2011
Music Heals My Soul
I'm still reeling from the golf tournament! I've had a big smile on my face ever since. It was so amazing to see everyone come together to help me. There really are not enough words to describe it. The total is staggering too. It is beyond a relief to know that I don't have to worry about excess medical costs, bills, etc during my treatment. All of my positive thoughts can focus on fighting this cancer.
I'm so lucky to have friends and family close by to keep me a active. I saw the movie 50/50 last weekend... Phenomenal. Highly recommend it to everyone. Bring your kleenex! The main character (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) did a great job of conveying the real raw emotions of a cancer patient. I could definitely relate to several scenes. (Thank you Diana for the movie and popcorn!) I've had so many amazing conversations and lunch/ dinner dates with Sarah, Suzanne, Tracy, Diana and "phone dates" with Xenia in Philly. Yesterday I got to see my niece Brooke pitch during one of her softball games and enjoy my first post -op pizza slice. I'm finally getting somewhat of an appetite back. I get a few cravings here and there and can tolerate more normal foods now. I'm down 14 pounds on my cancer diet (trying to look at the upsides!) Not the ideal diet, but I'll take what I can get.
I thought it would be hard adjusting to not working... Wrong! There was an adjustment period, but I've been able to slow down my mind and relish the free time that I have. I thought I would be watching the minutes tick by but the days are flying by. I have either a lunch/dinner date or doctor's appointment everyday this week, except Sunday.
My pain is very manageable now. I only took one Tylenol with Codeine this morning. I've finished all my antibiotics too. Now I only take vitamins on a regular basis. The other pills I take are on an "as needed" basis. My incision was having some problems healing. I shouldn't say was because I'm not out of the woods yet. After my surgery, the doctors used internal staples that dissolve in the body and steri-strips (they look like pieces of tape) to close me up. Unfortunately for me, my body is treating the staples like foreign objects and is pushing them out... This creates open holes in the skin. I currently have one at the top of my incision and two at the bottom. The biggest of the three was the size of a pencil eraser. I have to clean and cover the holes at least once a day. Let me rephrase... I shower and my mom treats and bandages the holes. I'm instantly nauseous when I see the holes. It's hard enough to have to shower and push them together. I have to try to squeeze out any secretions... I'm getting nauseous writing it! When my mom and I were at the doctor, they originally asked her to pack the holes with gauze. One look at that and my mom almost hit the floor. After sipping on some grape juice and putting her head between her legs, we settled on the next best thing. They gave us some powder that helps dry up and seal the hole. It's been a little over a week since the holes opened and I'm happy to report they are healing well. (All gratitude goes to my mom!)
I met my radiation doctor on Friday and now have a tentative schedule set. I go in for a CT scan tomorrow then a pelvic exam on the 20th and the first treatment on the 24th of this month. The actual radiation process takes about 5-7 minutes. I will go Monday- Friday for 5 weeks (25 total treatments). My doctor is being careful to design a radiation path that will cause the least amount of damage/ scaring to my other organs. My final pathology results indicated that my cancer is spreading downward instead of upward like most cancers. The field of radiation will run along the line of my lymphatic system. It will start just below my breasts and end at the bottom of my abdomen. All of the other organs in that area are at risk for certain side effects. I got a very helpful form that explains what side effects are common, rare and extremely rare. Most likely I will be a bit lethargic or nauseous. I could write a chapter about the other possible side effects, but I'm going to wait to see how my body responds. Of all the side effects, I have one that I'm terrified of, and unfortunately its somewhat inevitable. I'm not ready to share that with everyone. I've talked at length with my friends and doctors, but I've decided I shouldn't be worried about something that either won't be that bad or I can help reduce ( I know none of this makes sense but it will in a future post!) Lucky for me and my gas tank, radiation and chemo takes place in Roseville.
After my CT tomorrow I go back to Dr. Skilling (my oncologist) to check out my holes and incision. When I came home from the tournament last week, I noticed more white dots or staples. The doctor had reinforced those areas with new steri-strips. Mark my word, if I go in tomorrow and he says more staples have pushed out and he needs to pull them out... They are knocking me out and sewing that shit up.
I meet my chemo doctor on Tuesday. From what I know right now, the chemo treatments will be every Monday for 4 hours. I will have 5 total chemo treatments. Another upside- I shouldn't lose my hair! The chemo is a lower dose than other forms . The purpose is to weaken my cancer cells so the radiation can kill them. I'll learn lots more on Tuesday I'm sure. The 26 year old in me wants to know when I can have a cocktail!
So where does this leave my eggs?? Unfortunately, in my body. I've decided not to pursue egg harvesting. This decision was not made lightly. I can tell you that it was my decision and I am confident in my decision. It's too risky for my own health. I'd rather be a healthy adoptive mom than a sick biological mom. My cancer is too aggressive and unpredictable to play around with my own health. I'm already so tired of being poked and prodded too. Egg harvesting requires a couple of weeks of hormone shots to hyper stimulate your ovaries. When the ovaries are stimulated, the ovaries can be the size of baseballs or grapefruits. This would make my stomach expand. I can't imagine this happening when my incision is not closing properly! Gives me goose bumps thinking about it. After the radiation, my ovaries will turn into dead tissues. At that point I'll enter menopause and have the joy of taking hormone supplements for the rest of my long healthy life.
Enough medical mumbling for the day! Music heals my soul... It's a thought I can't get out of my head. I was generously gifted an iPod Shuffle from the Dimick's. They pre-loaded it with the most incredible mix of uplifting, inspirational, fun songs that I LOVE!! I can't count how many songs I've downloaded since my diagnosis. Turning on my iPod on and tuning out the world gives me the opportunity to forget about my cancer and enjoy the music for a minute. I tend to get shocked back into reality when my toe tapping turns into dancing and I feel my stomach tighten.
It hasn't been hard to find a silver lining to cancer. That may sound weird, but I've had some really great things come out of one really crappy speed bump. I'm very excited for the week ahead of me. It's almost 1am... I better get to sleep so I can start enjoying it! Oh, how could I forget, I'm almost done compiling the photos from my tournament!! I'll post that slideshow ASAP!
Thank you all again for your constant love and support!
XOXO Britni
I'm so lucky to have friends and family close by to keep me a active. I saw the movie 50/50 last weekend... Phenomenal. Highly recommend it to everyone. Bring your kleenex! The main character (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) did a great job of conveying the real raw emotions of a cancer patient. I could definitely relate to several scenes. (Thank you Diana for the movie and popcorn!) I've had so many amazing conversations and lunch/ dinner dates with Sarah, Suzanne, Tracy, Diana and "phone dates" with Xenia in Philly. Yesterday I got to see my niece Brooke pitch during one of her softball games and enjoy my first post -op pizza slice. I'm finally getting somewhat of an appetite back. I get a few cravings here and there and can tolerate more normal foods now. I'm down 14 pounds on my cancer diet (trying to look at the upsides!) Not the ideal diet, but I'll take what I can get.
I thought it would be hard adjusting to not working... Wrong! There was an adjustment period, but I've been able to slow down my mind and relish the free time that I have. I thought I would be watching the minutes tick by but the days are flying by. I have either a lunch/dinner date or doctor's appointment everyday this week, except Sunday.
My pain is very manageable now. I only took one Tylenol with Codeine this morning. I've finished all my antibiotics too. Now I only take vitamins on a regular basis. The other pills I take are on an "as needed" basis. My incision was having some problems healing. I shouldn't say was because I'm not out of the woods yet. After my surgery, the doctors used internal staples that dissolve in the body and steri-strips (they look like pieces of tape) to close me up. Unfortunately for me, my body is treating the staples like foreign objects and is pushing them out... This creates open holes in the skin. I currently have one at the top of my incision and two at the bottom. The biggest of the three was the size of a pencil eraser. I have to clean and cover the holes at least once a day. Let me rephrase... I shower and my mom treats and bandages the holes. I'm instantly nauseous when I see the holes. It's hard enough to have to shower and push them together. I have to try to squeeze out any secretions... I'm getting nauseous writing it! When my mom and I were at the doctor, they originally asked her to pack the holes with gauze. One look at that and my mom almost hit the floor. After sipping on some grape juice and putting her head between her legs, we settled on the next best thing. They gave us some powder that helps dry up and seal the hole. It's been a little over a week since the holes opened and I'm happy to report they are healing well. (All gratitude goes to my mom!)
I met my radiation doctor on Friday and now have a tentative schedule set. I go in for a CT scan tomorrow then a pelvic exam on the 20th and the first treatment on the 24th of this month. The actual radiation process takes about 5-7 minutes. I will go Monday- Friday for 5 weeks (25 total treatments). My doctor is being careful to design a radiation path that will cause the least amount of damage/ scaring to my other organs. My final pathology results indicated that my cancer is spreading downward instead of upward like most cancers. The field of radiation will run along the line of my lymphatic system. It will start just below my breasts and end at the bottom of my abdomen. All of the other organs in that area are at risk for certain side effects. I got a very helpful form that explains what side effects are common, rare and extremely rare. Most likely I will be a bit lethargic or nauseous. I could write a chapter about the other possible side effects, but I'm going to wait to see how my body responds. Of all the side effects, I have one that I'm terrified of, and unfortunately its somewhat inevitable. I'm not ready to share that with everyone. I've talked at length with my friends and doctors, but I've decided I shouldn't be worried about something that either won't be that bad or I can help reduce ( I know none of this makes sense but it will in a future post!) Lucky for me and my gas tank, radiation and chemo takes place in Roseville.
After my CT tomorrow I go back to Dr. Skilling (my oncologist) to check out my holes and incision. When I came home from the tournament last week, I noticed more white dots or staples. The doctor had reinforced those areas with new steri-strips. Mark my word, if I go in tomorrow and he says more staples have pushed out and he needs to pull them out... They are knocking me out and sewing that shit up.
I meet my chemo doctor on Tuesday. From what I know right now, the chemo treatments will be every Monday for 4 hours. I will have 5 total chemo treatments. Another upside- I shouldn't lose my hair! The chemo is a lower dose than other forms . The purpose is to weaken my cancer cells so the radiation can kill them. I'll learn lots more on Tuesday I'm sure. The 26 year old in me wants to know when I can have a cocktail!
So where does this leave my eggs?? Unfortunately, in my body. I've decided not to pursue egg harvesting. This decision was not made lightly. I can tell you that it was my decision and I am confident in my decision. It's too risky for my own health. I'd rather be a healthy adoptive mom than a sick biological mom. My cancer is too aggressive and unpredictable to play around with my own health. I'm already so tired of being poked and prodded too. Egg harvesting requires a couple of weeks of hormone shots to hyper stimulate your ovaries. When the ovaries are stimulated, the ovaries can be the size of baseballs or grapefruits. This would make my stomach expand. I can't imagine this happening when my incision is not closing properly! Gives me goose bumps thinking about it. After the radiation, my ovaries will turn into dead tissues. At that point I'll enter menopause and have the joy of taking hormone supplements for the rest of my long healthy life.
Enough medical mumbling for the day! Music heals my soul... It's a thought I can't get out of my head. I was generously gifted an iPod Shuffle from the Dimick's. They pre-loaded it with the most incredible mix of uplifting, inspirational, fun songs that I LOVE!! I can't count how many songs I've downloaded since my diagnosis. Turning on my iPod on and tuning out the world gives me the opportunity to forget about my cancer and enjoy the music for a minute. I tend to get shocked back into reality when my toe tapping turns into dancing and I feel my stomach tighten.
It hasn't been hard to find a silver lining to cancer. That may sound weird, but I've had some really great things come out of one really crappy speed bump. I'm very excited for the week ahead of me. It's almost 1am... I better get to sleep so I can start enjoying it! Oh, how could I forget, I'm almost done compiling the photos from my tournament!! I'll post that slideshow ASAP!
Thank you all again for your constant love and support!
XOXO Britni
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Best Day Ever!
Amazing, beautiful, thoughtful, emotional day. Best day ever. Thank you to everyone at Catta Verdera (colleagues, members, family). I am the luckiest girl in the world. I am so blessed to have such a large and compassionate support group of people around me. I've got a TON of pictures and stories to post. I'm feeling so much better. I thought I'd be tired after today, but I'm still wired. Thankfully I have the season premiere of Dexter to keep me busy back at home. (So anxious for my favorite serial killer vigalante to come back!) I'll be posting quite a bit this week to fill in the gaps from the last two weeks.
Thank you again to everyone at Catta Verdera, the members, the staff, the golfers, the friends, the relatives, the vendors and the donors who worked together to make this day my best day ever!
Love you all,
XOXO Britni
Thank you again to everyone at Catta Verdera, the members, the staff, the golfers, the friends, the relatives, the vendors and the donors who worked together to make this day my best day ever!
Love you all,
XOXO Britni
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